Exploring Life. Escaping Sanity.

Extended Recent Ramblings...

March 18, 2009

25 Random Facts On Miou

1. I value truth above everything else, including my own happiness.

2. Until I was 17 I thought I was a staunch Christian Republican. I am obviously not.

3. I've been an insomniac pretty much all of my life. My worst bout of insomnia was, without break, from age 14-23, where I would sleep (if I was lucky) 2-3 hours a night and on particularly unlucky stints I would go 3-4 days without sleeping, to the point of hallucinations.

4. The worst sound in the world isn't someone sobbing in unleashed agony, country music, nails on a chalkboard or even GWBush making a speech, but is instead the sound made when someone eats a banana. Unless the banana is slightly green and care is taken not to moosh it around in your mouth. It is bad enough that in the past I have envisioned taking someone's head and smacking it onto a nearby surface to render them unconscious and therefore unable to continue eating said banana.

5. Until I turned 31 I was convinced I would die before I turned 30. When I say 'convinced', I mean that I didn't bother dreaming about or setting goals around getting married, having kids, buying a house, growing old, etc. Really, what was the point? It wasn't something I obsessed over, it just something that firmly 'was'.

6. My blood is a big pain in the ass. It inflames/coagulates in my veins at the slightest thing: stress, working out, food intollerances, etc. (Yay rouleux.) It makes for some Very Annoying Badness.

7. I've had a dream every night since her passing with my grandmother in it, peripherally or actively involved.

8. I believe that everything happens for a reason, but I don't believe that some deity or force is working behind the scenes, and I don't believe in fate.

9. I am very shy - sometimes mildly and sometimes extremely - and always have been. Which sucks because I'm a definite extrovert. I work at it on a daily basis.

10. I take life way too seriously. Therefore, this year I am deliberately working to have fun and bring 'fun' into my environment. Case in point: both of my bosses will return from a crazy work trip to find their offices decorated ala Skipper & Gilligan theme. We'll see if they blame me and my cohort in crime or the man who started it all.

11. The worst and most traumatic experiences in my life have also been the best.

12. I decided a few years ago to go against my grain of choosing safe, reliable foods and try every new food I come across at least once. Since then I have eaten less strange foods than my childhood, wherein I tried caviar, fish eyeballs and sperm, whale blubber, pickled tongue and pigs feet, lutefisk, and old school blood pudding. Even so, I'm not convinced yet that I can bring myself to eat live bugs. Or live anything. Jury's still out on those.

13. One of my dream vacations is hiking the 440 km trail Kungsleden in Sweden. I have several things to accomplish in order to bring this dream to fruition. I am currently working on the 3 day, 60 mile hike training for Susan G Komen and will soon pick another adventure in physical preparation. I will need to find a partner who's stupid enough to do this with me. (I don't know if Joe'll actually be up for it.) I have to get out of debt and or find a method to save for the trip. It looks, currently, like it might be 2-3 years out. WOOO!!!!

14. Crazily enough, I think taking Sid and His Wumun and Joe on that hike would be awesome. Even if I haven't met His Wumun yet. Whaddya say, Sid?

15. Every day (yes, every day) since January - when we originally made the plans - I've squirmed in anticipation for my May trip to DC & NY. It'll be the first time visiting the east coast. I don't care about the Statue of Liberty (please don't shoot me) as much as the fact that I'll be able to walk the halls of the Smithsonian like I've wanted to do since I was a kid, when my grandma shared her experience there. And I boggle over the weirdness of my excitement. I'm pretty certain I shouldn't be this excited.

16. I'm writing a musical about zombies.

17. I fidget, which isn't anything extraordinary, mind you. I love to indulge in kinesthetic things while my mind is working, including squishing squeeze toys, playing with a slinky, clinking things for the vibrations, clicking pens, bouncing my knee, etc. What I don't get is why people say (and actually strongly believe) this is nervous energy. I don't do it because I'm nervous. And you can make the argument that it stimulates the nerves, but that's not what the majority of people are thinking when they chastise me. Dood, it helps my brain process shit. Just because it makes YOU nervous, doesn't mean it's stemming from nervousness with ME.

18. I will never live in Texas. You can't make me.

19. I am fascinated by native English speakers who have solidly learned, inside and out, the Japanese and or Chinese languages. (Yes Tyler, this includes you.) The language is so completely, fundamentally foreign in the way it was constructed, and constructed around a brain pattern (biological, chemical, historical, etc.) not at all similar to that of English-speakers, that anyone who can force-adapt their brains so thoroughly is worthy of a raised brow and handshake at the very least.

20. One of my 'dreams' is to become a neuroscientist with a focus in musicology. I say 'dream' because while I'm capable of accomplishing this, I'm not certain I want to put my other goals/dreams on hold in order to pursue this passion of mine. Now, if scientists would just hurry up and perfect the reversal of cell degeneration and dna manipulation....

21. I love finding out the 'why' about people. LOVE. What did you experience and what did you take from it and why did you take -that- from it and how do you approach things and how does your brain work and is it chemically different from the getgo (at birth) or did it form that way over time because of the neural firing based on the environmental factors (nutrients, experience stimulation, etc.) which made your networking differently or is it because...

22. I have actually watched something play out between people that brought an unexpected vivid image to my mind of monkeys throwing poo and violently grabbing their genitals.

23. I apologize to those I offend, but I don't understand why so many people can't differentiate between 'their', 'there', and 'they're'. It seriously confuses me. I refuse to believe that they (most of 'em) aren't capable of learning, which leaves (in my mind) only one logical argument: laziness. Which then confuses me further. This whole emotional process is usually summed up with a fist that shakes in the air, accompanied by 'WHY?!' when I receive emails. (Along the same lines, I remember my elementary teacher teaching us to spell 'their' as 'thier', and it fucked me up for four years.)

24. I really, -really- wish dogs didn't have nightmares. It makes me genuinely sad. They're generally such happy, loving, loyal, fun creatures. They don't deserve nightmares. (Yes, I realize how silly that sounds.)

25. I took almost a month to complete this meme, mainly because I find it difficult to imagine there's anything that someone would A) not know about me and B) find interesting. I know. Silly, too.

March 17, 2009

Well, hello there!

Happy St. Paddy's Day!

While I am festive in my green, I must admit I cannot share in my favorite pasttime of drowning in the dark, foamy goodness of Guiness.

My diet only now makes me sad. =-)

January 17, 2009

Looking for a second job...

So here's how it is.


  • The hobbies I want to return to I can't right now because it costs money.

  • I am in massive debt and want to be out of it sooner rather than later.

  • My office is moving, and more likely than not to another office location 25 miles away.

  • My car needs $1200 in work right now, and with the transition from 25 miles a week to 400 miles a week, will force me to fix the other problem, which is another $1000.

  • I don't have that money.

So. I'm looking for a second job. But I am also running into issues with looking for a second job.


  • I can only work weeknights and weekends, and don't want to go overboard because my energy has been low while I've been on this diet and I don't want to get crazy stressed again.

  • I have over-qualified for the jobs that would be customer-facing, i.e. bagging or cashier or stuff like that.

  • The job market isn't worth KahKah.

    • Annoying big time.

    Will be spending today going door to door trying to convince them that hiring a project manager for a bagger on weeknights and or weekends is really the way to go.

    January 14, 2009

    2008 Finished Reading

    Well, and just a few comments to go along with each...


    • 'Orbiting the Giant Hairball: A Corporate Fool's Guide to Surviving with Grace' by Gordon MacKenzie: A relatively short and fun book that encourages people to think outside of the box by speaking to the authors experience at Hallmark. It's a good reminder for those of us in the corporate world who can get bogged down by naysayers or put ourselves in a corner and pretend there's only one way out that there are, in fact, a kazillion.

    • 'Adult Children of Alcoholics' by Janet Geringer Woititz: This book isn't just for adult children of alcoholics (it really can apply to anyone who had bad parents), but I would recommend it to anyone who did have alcoholic parents. While this book talks to the extremes, it confirms a lot of emotions that many adults haven't faced up to yet and talks about the potential sources. I'd say read this book and don't take it as gospel for you (since we all develop differently of course), but expect to understand that you're not alone.

    • 'I am America (And So Can You!)' by Steven Colbert: I love Steven Colbert, and in this book he remains a funny guy. Still, this book is more coffee table material than actual book material. He did a great job though.

    • 'Auschwitz: A Doctor's Eyewitness Account' by Dr. Miklos Nyizsli, foreword by Bruno Bettelheim: This book was well-written and gave an example of what people will do to survive not only physically but emotionally and mentally stressful situations. It was an entirely human accounting, and while I have read many accounts of the atrocities committed during WWII (on fronts outside of Germany as well), this book still gave me a sick feeling.... as well as a bundle of emotions wrapped around his experience. Worth the read.

    • 'The Universe in a Single Atom: The Convergence of Science and Spirituality' by His Holiness the Dalai Lama: I picked this book up not because I follow the Dalai Lama's teachings, but because particularly I don't follow them. I know he's quite progressive compared to his predecessors, and far more learned in the realm of science, but I also suspected he'd write a hell of a lot I didn't agree with. And he did, but it was a good experience. A decent enough writer, the Dalai Lama talks about his experiences (which were fascinating, actually) to explain how he's come to the conclusions he has. The thing that I actually liked most about this book was it gave a good example of how humans are prone to picking out bits of information to support their own beliefs and disregarding the rest. (Scientifically proven tendency in humans, as it were.) Just gotta remind myself to actively work against it.

    • 'Lost Christianities: The Battle for Scripture and the Faiths We Never Knew' by Bart Ehrman:: This was an interesting book and is a good addition to any research around the beginnings of Christianity, including politics, how the bible was formed, the times and so forth around it. Bart Ehrman always pleases me with his writings: he's eloquent and substantiates his theories with good data while also giving insight as to what others in the field do or do not agree with and why.

    • 'This is Your Brain on Music: The Science of a Human Obsession' by Daniel J. Levitin: I really like this book, but if I recall the writing wasn't as impressive as I would have liked. Part of it was that I already knew (quite thoroughly) some of the subject matter, but part of it was he was dull and sometimes repetitive. Overall though not a bad book for the field.

    • 'Bonk' by Mary Roach: Yay! I like Mary Roach. I like her writing style and her humor. While her books never (and aren't meant to) go absolutely into the end-all be-all science and give a thorough explanation of her subject matter, she does a great job taking you through her steps of research and correlating them humanistically to her own life. While 'Stiff' probably remains my favorite of her books, this book still is up there.

    • 'Lonely Werewolf Girl' by Martin Millar: This was a teeny-bopper book, in my opinion, but a strange one at that. I devoured this when I went to visit my gramma this summer, which was odd. The writing wasn't particularly good. The story wasn't exceptionally fun. But there was humor of quasi-character development that I liked. So, not overall a book I'd recommend to people who like something to sink their teeth into, but for someone just starting out with reading books (hey, I know plenty of adults who only read magazines) or 13-somethings who want to something fun, I'd recommend this book.

    • 'Neverwhere' by Neil Gaiman:Loved this book. Still very impressed with the author. The thing that strikes me is that he really can take a different tone, a different approach, a different arc and story line and... everything with each book he writes. No book is the same, unlike people like Dean Koontz and the plethora of formula fiction writers out there.

    • 'Stardust' by Neil Gaiman: I love Neil Gaiman. I hated this book until the end. And then the end made it acceptable that I took time to read this book.

    • 'On Killing: The Psychological Cost of Learning to Kill in War and Society' by Lt. Col. Dave Grossman: This book impressed the hell out of me. It's the first really in depth look at how a human deals with learning how to and executing the action of killing, and how it all varies based on training, reception, previous experience, brain make-up, etc. Very fascinating, and an incredible insight into how America as a society seriously traumatized our troops coming back from Vietnam and why. Very applicable to so much out there. I'd recommend this to anyone who cares a whit about the psychology of humans.

    • 'Lean Six Sigma' by Michael L. George: I'm not going to kid you. This book was mildly boring. I took this up to learn more about the practice, so I can take stuff out of it to become a better project mgr. Good stuff in there, even if the book is written towards factory-type businesses, as well as good reminders. It was also put together really well.

    • 'Microsoft Sharepoint 2007 for Dummies' by Vanessa Williams and Frank Geisler: OMG the pain. The 'For Dummies' series is no longer reliable for putting together a smart, easy how-to book. I learned more from my Access 2007 classes about Sharepoint than this book, which is really, really sad. Take a class or find another book. Seriously.

    • 'Th1rte3n' by Richard K. Morgan: I love this book. I want to have it's book babies. I am told this is not RKM's best book, and so I have a plan to seriously submerge myself in his fictional world. Horray for GOOD fiction books.

    • 'Perdido Street Station' by China Mieville: This is one bizarre book. Like... seriously strange. It is also well written (except for the writer's propensity to use big words just for the sake of using big words, and repeat some of the favorites) and not a Hollywood-styled story. Quite creative, well-streamlined without being predictable or boring, and good character development.

    • 'Interworld' by Neil Gaiman and Michael Reaves: I liked it. Good fictional book.

    • 'Darwin's Dangerous Idea: Evolution and the Meanings of Life' by Daniel C. Dennett: Holy Jeebus, this book was exceptionally boring and disappointing. While the subject matter is decent enough, I didn't actually read every passage; this writer likes to hear himself talk on paper. I wouldn't recommend it. Read Darwin's main theory and then just talk about it with friends or some science nerds. You'll have a better experience.

    • 'Snakes in Suits: When Psychopaths Go to Work' by Paul Babiak, Ph.D. and Robert D. Hare, Ph.D.: This book should be read by anyone who is serious about the corporate world and or wants to understand why 'some' people get to the top, where they definitely shouldn't be, and why sometimes nasty politics come into play. The statistics and estimations revolving around employed psychopaths are a little scary. Book is approachable, readable, and easy to relate to your own experiences. It offers some advice and heads up, as well, to help you survive these types of experiences. Just as I'd recommend 'The Gift of Fear' by Gavin DeBecker to anyone who has been attacked and any manager who anticipates laying off a person with emotional instability, I'd definitely recommend this to those in the corporate world.

    • 'Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World' by Haruki Murakami: When I finally brought out this book, I thought I was going to have a stern talking to with one of my close friends afterwards. I was mistaken. I was mistaken mostly because I got this author mixed up with a different, incredibly boring fictional Japanese author. I was, instead, very happily surprised with this book. Go Haruki Murakami!

    • 'Life of Pi' by Yann Martell: I guiltily confess that I avoided this book like the plague for two years. I couldn't bear to part with it because my very good friend gave it to me, and she and I love to talk about and read various books. But I didn't want to read it because I thought it was going to slam the whole 'GodGodGod' thing down on the reader. It didn't. This book was awesome. Based on a true story. Great writing. Humanistic. I called and apologized to her immediately. =)

    • 'Anansi Boys' by Neil Gaiman: Another oddball and exceptionally fun book written by Neil Gaiman. He fascinates me as a writer, now. Awesome incorporation of God lore into every day life. He's one of the few fictional writers where I'll actually blind-buy a book of his.

    • 'The Lathe of Heaven' by Ursula K. Le Guin: Good book. Odd book. Odd concept. Not Hollywood. Great writing. Smart. Will definitely read her stuff again.

    • 'Mole People: Life in the Tunnels Beneath New York City' by Jennifer Toth: This is a crazy interesting accounting of homeless people in NYC. It isn't a detached accounting either, as much as the writer attempts to be the observer and keep herself separate, and she admits this in the end. Very human, very interesting with statistics, and really fascinating with the underlying psych implications.

    • "Even Eagles Need a Push" by David McNally: Not to offend anyone, but I don't know what crack people are smoking. If you never read a book, never read this book. I was grossly offended and annoyed by this tiny, some-page trash. Almost as annoyed as I am with the religion of Scientology.

    January 10, 2009

    2009 Goals

    These, as it were, are not New Year's Resolutions. But I definitely have goals that I want to accomplish for this year. (Yes, this list will be updated as I think of things.) Without further ado:

      Goals to Accomplish for 2009
    • Complete 1st draft of musical's manuscript
    • Take a creative writing class
    • Take a dance class
    • Experience DC & NY and the awesomeness within
    • Take a quilting class
    • Read 26 books
    • Get down to my goal weight
    • Maintain my goal weight
    • Walk in the Susan G. Komen 60-Mile 3-day Breast Cancer walk

    December 30, 2008

    Under Construction

    Bear with me, folks. I am, quite obviously, completely revamping my website. I have many, many plans for it, and hopefully some will come to fruition. This weekend is as good, if not better, as any and so away we go!

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